Holiday Inn my pants...

I realized that when I'm expecting the cleaning lady to come clean my hotel room, I pick up a little...
and then I check my hair.

Tithing as an 18th Century German Boy

I'm from Hampton Roads home of Pat Robertson and his motto is "The visible world is controlled by the invisible world" and he's so stupid and he gets me so mad that my eye starts twitching, but then I think, "what if he's right and that's an angel poking me in the face saying, "you'd better listen to him".
I hope he's not right because I also suffer from spastic colon.

I'd hate to think that a samurai and a confederate soldier were riding a train on me.
I could have a samurai ghost right? Why do they have to only haunt their own country. Some one must delegate the hauntings. What if a ghost was transfered? That's why in every reinactment of a haunting you see two objects float just a little off of a table, rotate slightly and then set back down, all while there's moaning and shrieking. That's some ancient Incan who's never seen a Hummel and a remote control. He's freaking the fuck out.