30 year old acne

So guess what happens when you turn 30? You get zits again. They come back, but this time they're in weird places. I've got acne on my chest and on my gut. Zits on my gut! You can reinact your puberty. I put my zitty gut up to girlfriend's zitty ass and asked her out all over again. "Hi did you just move here? (in squeaky voice and shaking my gut to the rhythm)You wanna do something Friday?"

My dad's dick

You wouldn't know it by looking at me but my father had a great big horse cock... that he was jacking off in his face in a home made video. No, he really had a giant dick though, I saw it when I was little... right before it entered my mouth. It was the size of a baby's arm... a baby elephant. I really know because he used to have trojan xtra large condoms. I put one on and it covered my whole dick and my balls AND part of my knee. But that was a while back, maybe around the fourth of July. It's true what they say about heredity, I'm pretty sure I inherited my mom's dick.